too far

we’ve gone too far.

hugs led to cuddles

cuddles led to kisses

kissed led to…

too far.

 

i’m afraid we’ve passed

the point of no return.

logic?  sure, we can

rationalize our actions,

rationalize why we shouldn’t.

 

but in the moment?

it disappears.  the desire

takes over.

 

kiss on the check.

kiss on the neck.

rub my chest..

forbidden touches.

 

impulsive actions

lead to

regrets.

 

we’ve gone too far.

and there’s no turning back.

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no

boundaries

are necessary in life,

whether it be

work

school

friends

relationships.

 

boundaries

set the undertone of

life-

 

whether you are

living

positive or negative..

boundaries

dictate the health of

your well being.

 

and that is why i said

no.

friendship

is a funny thing.

 

cultivated over

time

and a need for

connection.

 

friendship,

hard to create

yet so easy to break.

 

and yet i wonder,

why are we friends?

what have we together?

friendship?  or something more?

 

the thoughts linger in

my mind

as our friendship blossoms-

best friends..

lovers?

 

no.  friends.

only friends.

selfish

you say you have

a date

a connection

a thread of desire

 

with someone else.

not me.

 

i should be happy for you,

because, after all,

i have my own

connection

wave of desire

relationship..

 

but i’m not happy.

i want you,

and i want you to know that.

i want you,

and no one else can have you.

 

i try to hide these feelings,

because, after all,

that is just utterly

selfish-

 

expecting you to

be alone in this world,

when i have

a loving hand at my side.

 

utterly selfish.

innocent touches

our innocent touches

remind me of the thrill:

new beginnings.

 

stolen moments

between two people,

now floating in my mind.

 

the feeling of

safety and belonging

when i’m in your arms

could drive anyone to insanity.

 

innocent touches

turned

innocent thoughts

turned

not so innocent conversation

not so innocent actions

 

we are not so innocent anymore.

belonging

why is the

urge

to destroy

so strong?

 

the desire

to belong

bellows underneath

my skin-

 

just one drink,

just one hit,

just one mistake

 

just one more!

 

this lifestyle of

personal destruction,

though tempting it may be..

is not for me.

 

once in a blue moon

my body roars:

just one more!

 

and then maybe you’ll belong.

empty bottle

drink

your emotions

drink

your pain

drink

your desire

 

drink your life away.

 

destructive habits

are a good friend of mine,

though drink i do not

for that is not my kind.

 

but now that i am here

why not have a drink?

the night is young

the company’s great..

 

and i am left

staring at the bottom

of an empty bottle.